Back!

I'm baaaaack! I spent the last week in San Diego visiting my best friend and her family, and my family as well. My mom graduated with her associates, and the fact that she finished is amazing in itself (I don't mean that in a demeaning way). She's come an insanely long way since my dad passed away 12 years ago. She's got a social life, friends, and now she can say she has some schooling under her belt. We've got a... complicated relationship to say the least. The combination of her somewhat low self-esteem mixed with my own resentment towards her does not make for a strong mother-daughter relationship. That whole story is a separate post in itself. It took all week for the tension bubble to burst, but on the second to last day it did and there were tears, and somewhat raised voices (but no screaming thankfully). At least some things were put out there and the elephant was cut nearly in half.

On a completely separate note, it seems like everyone is participating in one of the three following things: (1) getting engaged, (2) getting married, or (3) having a baby. I'm 27 and there are people my age and younger that are already on child #2. I have trouble remembering that not everyone is on (or required to be) on the same timeline in that respect. Having that in mind, the very thought of having one child, let alone more, at this point in my life is insane. I love love love my best friend's daughter. She's 13 months, and the happiest child I've ever seen, but I am so glad she's not mine and I don't have that kind of responsibility right now. I'll stay selfish and only want to spend my time and money on my boyfriend and myself for a little bit longer (a few years longer at least).

On the engagement-marriage thing, it's not that I NEED it to happen now, or that I'll go anywhere if it doesn't happen soon, but it's a weird, nonsensical thing that I just want to know that it's actually coming soon. We've talked about it, and I know it's coming, but the ring makes it "official" (I know nothing's official until the papers are signed)... I know I know, it's silly, but hopefully at least any women that read this will understand. I'm trying to change my way of thinking about it. I look forward to when it happens because every time I do think about it I feel so happy and whole. I know it'll happen when it happens, and it's just a matter of us being financially secure. I also know that that is the only thing he's waiting for, and so I can have the ring and wedding that I want. Makes me love him even more. :-)

On that mushy note, I've got a few more things to do before heading to work. Yes! Work! I started my marketing internship position yesterday at a Berkeley based start-up. I'm pretty excited and the first day went really well. More on that later!